Reflections in the Aftermath
by Mockingbird Quester
Summary: A look at the end of CoE from Gwen's point of view. Reflections from her life after Jack and Ianto are gone. CoE spoilers. A bit strange for me to write because I don't like Gwen Cooper all that much. She just spoke to me for this ;


After the children were saved, everything had moved at breakneck speed. They had to restore the hub and do what the could to salvage what was still left. Gwen became head of their Torchwood program, by shear default, by absence, and death.

When Jack had briefly reappeared six months later she had felt like a great weight was lifted for such a short time. Jack would come back and take over Torchwood. All of it wouldn't be her responsibility, she would be able to focus on her family and simply do what was needed at work without the administration aspect.

But he had left, she was about to have her baby and she was made Director of Torchwood 3. Something had to give, and it was her plans for being a mother who had time to spend with her family.

Rhys could afford to quit his job and sold his company to a buyer, so he could stay home with their son. Gwen thought she never loved him more than when she watched him walking to the park with the baby in a pram or changing a wet nappy. She wasn't home as much as she wished, but duty called, and Rhys was an excellent father.

She and Rhiannon Davies began getting together for visits after Ianto Stephen was born. At first, Gwen hadn't been sure if either she or Rhiannon would be able to stand that name, if every time Gwen talked about her son it wouldn't reopen the hurt of losing the original Ianto.

But as time passed, the name became healing instead. What better way to honor two people who had been sacrificed to save so many? It was strange at first, and then it almost seemed perfect, although if anyone had told Gwen she would be yelling "Ianto Stephen Williams!!!" as he tried to jump off the top of the coffee table, she wouldn't have believed it only a year before.

And Rhiannon had become a good friend, almost like her own sister. Rhiannon was who Gwen called when an infant Ianto ran a frightening fever when the clinic was closed or who told her what to do when it hurt to breastfeed. Rhiannon had even joked once that "My brother must have decided I needed a sister to look after once he was gone." They had both cried a bit after she said that, but it seemed true in a way.

Then there was the decision that their own Ianto needed a sibling to help keep him from becoming egotistical. Gwen rather hoped that she would see Captain Jack Harkness again someday, if only to see his reaction when he realized she had named her daughter "Jacqueline". She wanted to introduce her children to him as Ianto and Jackie, and hoped it would cause him to let out a real laugh when he heard it, and not a harsh one to cover pain.

For years after, she had dreams where her own child (or children, depending on when) was the only one nearby to act as a conduit, and Jack looked at her screaming face with cold, hollow eyes as her child screamed out his life. She thought it would feature in her nightmares until she died, and she wondered if Jack dreamed of it. Would he still be dreaming of his Ianto and his Stephen, even a millennia later? She didn't envy his long life, in any way, if that was the case.

Sometimes, Gwen tried to imagine what it would have been like if Ianto hadn't died. Jack would still be on Earth surely, still with him, because to Gwen it had been obvious there was real love between them. But Ianto would have dealt badly with sacrificing Stephen to save the other children. Either he would have stopped Jack, knowing Jack's love for his grandson, seeing that one child as more important than all the rest even if it included his own niece and nephew - or he would have allowed it, and been haunted by it.

To this day, Gwen still believed the reason Jack had taken Ianto with him to confront the 456 hadn't been to protect him. It had been for Ianto to act as his conscience, to force him to fight the aliens' demands. Jack would have done anything to keep disappointment from Ianto's eyes, to keep from losing face in front of him. If he had known what the cost might have been, she knew he might have given up all the children just to keep Ianto safe.

Maybe it was best that Ianto had died when he did, as sacrilegious as it was to consider. Maybe he wouldn't have been able to stomach what had happened and gone on as before. Maybe it would have all fallen apart anyway.

Having known Jack had changed her, she knew that. He changed her plans for the future, and her ideas and her very view of the world. She knew the same was true for Rhys even with his limited contact as well. When her Ianto was six years old, she heard her husband and their boy having a serious conversation of some sort and had to eavesdrop.

"Alexis kissed me and said I haf'ta marry her when I grow up! I don't want to!", Ianto whined.

"Oh, you don't have to marry her. You can do whatever you want. She can't keep you from marrying some other girl or bloke if you want?"

"Da, can two men get married?"

"Or two women if they want. You marry who you love," Rhys replied, matter of fact and his wife remembered Jack and Ianto dancing together at her wedding, damning anyone to object.

That night Gwen showed her appreciation in the privacy of their bedroom and although Rhys had no idea what he had done to warrant such a thing, he wasn't complaining.

Time flew by so quickly, that sometimes Gwen wished she could be like Jack, with enough time to do all she wanted. Then she imagined Rhys dead in her arms, or her children grown and dead of old age as well, and thought better of the notion. One lifetime was enough for her.

Gwen thought of the future, she thought of her children and the world they would grow into and she thought of Jack and wondered if he would go on, with his immortal life, forever and ever.

She hoped someday he would forget her, and Ianto and Torchwood and could just go on without being haunted by them. She was fairly sure she would get her wish.

After all, what difference could a few people he loved over a few years make, when he had the stars and forever? Jack had forever.

Gwen hoped she was right and that was true, because the alternative was too sad to bear…

Without Jack, the world spun on into the long years of Captain Jack Harkness' future and it seemed best not to know. She held Rhys and her children all the tighter for knowing how fragile life was. Torchwood had taught her that; that life and love were brief and painful and precious. She was blessed.


End file.
